Once, on the way home from school, my friend decided to tell me all about duck sex which was amusingly educational, if a little horrifying.
“Oh my God, you’re not gonna lay an egg, okay?” shouted Sam.
Bondage: 2 stars, dnf for top!Dean
Due to personal preferences I cannot read Dean(Jensen) on top, but an extra star because that’s really the only thing that just didn’t work for me.
Daddy!kink: 4 for stars for the laughs
“Hell. The Fuck. No.”
Voyeurism: 4 stars for slutty Dean
“You want some stranger to maul me while you, what? Jerk off?”
Ice and wax: 4 stars
Sam just looked at him for a moment. “Seriously?”
Rimming: dnf top!Dean
Car sex: 2 stars, dnf top!Dean
“Dude, calm down. You’re gonna give yourself a nosebleed or have an aneurism or…wet your panties with excitement.”
Food!porn: 2 stars
“Will you shut up about the friggin’ pie?!”
Coming in pants: 5 stars, both hot and funny
It was simple; all he had to do was make Dean come in his pants without revealing his intention to do so. How hard could it be?
Anal play: 4 stars
Besides, it was becoming rapidly clear that fanfiction was the real culprit here. After all, if anal stimulation was really that incredible, everyone would be gay.
“I feel like we’ve been duped.”
Shower Sex: 3 stars
“Are there bubbles coming out of my ass?”
“Dude, I’m not gonna have a threesome with another guy,” asserted Dean. “That’d be gay.”
“Gay,” deadpanned Sam. “Seriously?”
Sex on the beach: dnf, top!Dean
“We’re gonna get sand in our cracks!”
Spanking: 4 stars
“What do you mean, what? You just slapped my ass!”
“Dean, just help me! I’m getting fried, and I’m suffocating! And there’s a condom in my hair!”
Dirty Talk: dnf, top!Dean
“Dude, can we get back on track, please?”
Breathplay: dnf, top!Dean
“Yeah, that’s called choking, Sam,” pointed out Dean, irritated.
Elevator Sex: 2 stars
“That was pretty hot.”
“What, walking past five hundred people with a boner?”
Final conclusion: 3 stars overall, for these 18 parts as I will not be continuing the story from here.